Posts Tagged ‘holistic’

I often hear other’s state “live in the moment”. I personally had a problem with that statement, as my ex would always dog me about how I needed to live in the moment. His idea of that meant going out and getting inebriated and leaving your troubles behind for the night. I came to resent “live in the moment”.

It’s taken me five years of growth to now unequivocally say I now live in the moment and it has a whole new meaning. Here’s where I stand today…

You must live in the present moment rather than the past or the future. Most of us live in either the past or the future. I know I did. I was always focused on the future and what it would hold for me. I’ve since learned that if you are not in the present moment you are always one step away from the real action. The key to the present is that you are always right where you are meant to be. Being present means you are always in the right place at the right time. You have to be able to feel. You can’t “think” your way into the present. You must “Feel” it. When you feel your life you have to feel the good, and the bad – feel all of it!!! When you choose how you feel you are not in the moment. You have to feel your life and be in touch with your emotions in the here and now, and only then do you become real and whole. I’ve given this a lot of thought mostly while watching my son play competitive tennis. Here’s how I see it: The tennis player while volleying has to return the ball. It doesn’t matter if you hit the ball with topspin, slice, or you lob- you have to return the ball. You just continue to hit the ball. Hit whatever comes at you. That’s what gives you the feeling of being rooted and grounded and being in the present moment.

Being in the present means you have to give up hope and let go of fear! You have to have such unbelievable faith that whatever is perfect and right will present itself!!! And everything will be all right.

As women we work hard at protecting ourselves (especially us single moms). We continue to stuff our feelings under the bed. We don’t want to deal with it – we pretend it doesn’t exist. Think about it –

Have you ever sat still and truly been quiet with yourself and just allow yourself “to feel”? You know – let your mask fall away and the stuff you’ve been stuffing under the bed so to speak starts rising and the lump swells in your throat and your eyes get all glassy and you start to sob uncontrollably? You know crying, gasping and crying some more? Oprah calls it – “ugly crying” ‘cause it ain’t pretty!!! When we let go and cry uncontrollably it’s a deep soul cleansing. This type of crying cracks and chips away at the protective shell (similar to an egg shell) that we have created around our heart. It helps us to become soft and human and to feel. All of the things we have struggled with and experienced harden our heart. You must be willing to grieve and willing to feel your sadness in order to be human. When you are willing to feel it and own it, your shell will crack and break and this allows you to love and get in touch with whom you are. You can’t love with a shell around your heart. If you deny it- you deny you. Feel it, own it and let all the stuff you’ve been stuffing come to the surface – face it, feel it, own it, and let it crack and break the shell. Grieve and just let it go!! If you are willing to grieve and feel what it feels like to be human then the shell opens up to more love and to getting in touch with whom you really are. It takes away the hardness. We can’t love if our hearts are coated with a protective shell. We need to crack the shell and make ourselves vulnerable. If you deny yourself to feel and own it – that shell will never crack and chip away…and you will never be truly authentic.

Loving the journey………………….